If I owe the irs can me an my spouse file separately an they take my refund but not his ?

[xmasbaby0]

That might work---but are you in a community property state?  Another option is for your spouse to file as an injured spouse to protect the part of the refund that can be attributed to his earnings.

https://ttlc.intuit.com/questions/1910698-how-do-i-file-form-8379-injured-spouse-allocation

There are a lot of disadvantages to filing separate returns instead of filing a joint return. 

If you were legally married at the end of 2020 your filing choices are married filing jointly or married filing separately.

Married Filing Jointly is usually better, even if one spouse had little or no income. When you file a joint return, you and your spouse will get the married filing jointly standard deduction of $24,800 (+$1300 for each spouse 65 or older)  You are eligible for more credits including education credits, earned income credit, child and dependent care credit, and a larger income limit to receive the child tax credit.

If you choose to file married filing separately, both spouses have to file the same way—either you both itemize or you both use standard deduction. Your tax rate will be higher than on a joint return. Some of the special rules for filing separately include: you cannot get earned income credit, education credits, adoption credits, or deductions for student loan interest. A higher percent of your Social Security benefits may be taxable. Your limit for SALT (state and local taxes and sales tax) will be only $5000 per spouse. In many cases you will not be able to take the child and dependent care credit. The amount you can contribute to a retirement account will be affected. If you live in a community property state, you will be required to provide additional information regarding your spouse’s income. ( Community property states:  AZ, CA, ID, LA, NV, NM, TX, WA, WI)

If  you are using online TurboTax to prepare your returns, you will need to prepare two separate returns and pay twice.

https://ttlc.intuit.com/questions/1894449-married-filing-jointly-vs-married-filing-separately

https://ttlc.intuit.com/questions/1901162-married-filing-separately-in-community-property-states

https://ttlc.intuit.com/questions/1894449-is-it-better-for-a-married-couple-to-file-jointly-or-separ...

[Opus 17]

It depends on when the debt originated.

If you owe the IRS due to debts from before the marriage, then you and your spouse should file as married filing separately.  This keeps your tax situations separate and protects your spouse's finances.  If you filed jointly and filed the injured spouse form, that would also protect your spouse somewhat, but not as effectively.

If you owe the IRS due to debts from during your marriage when you filed separate returns, you should continue to file separate returns.

If you owe debts to the IRS from during the marriage and you filed a joint return, then the debts are joint and there is nothing you can do to prevent the IRS from taking your spouse's refund.  On a joint debt, the IRS can take the money from whichever spouse it is easier to collect from.