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You refund will not be delayed and you will not, most likely, have to pay anything back. What the other parent wants to do is allowed. What you heard is not true.
For Advance CTC repayment protection info, see: https://www.irs.gov/credits-deductions/2021-child-tax-credit-and-advance-child-tax-credit-payments-t...
You have to enter the amount you received for the advance child tax credit payments. It is on your IRS letter 6419. If you do not claim those children on your 2021 tax return you may have to pay some of it back--depending on your income,
You say the father "wants" to claim one child. Who did the children live with? Are you the custodial parent? Do you have a signed agreement with him as to who claims the children?
Are you the custodial parent? Do you have an agreement with the other parent to allow the other parent to claim them--due to divorce or that you live apart and share custody? Did one of you sign a Form 8332?
If there is a signed 8332 then the custodial parent retains the right to file as Head of Household, get earned income credit and the childcare credit. The non-custodial parent gets the child tax credit for children under the age of 18.
As far as the IRS is concerned, the custodial parent is the one with whom the child spent the most nights during the tax year--at least 183 nights.
As for whether you have to pay it back if you do not claim the child:
TurboTax calculates the Repayment Protection. This determines if a person is required to repay the advance CTC.
What is Repayment Protection?
Repayment protection is an income-based program that reduces the amount of excess advance Child Tax Credit payments you have to repay.
Full repayment protection equals $2,000, multiplied by the following:
To be eligible for full repayment protection, your adjusted gross income (AGI) for the 2021 tax year must be at or below the following:
You won’t qualify for any repayment protection if your modified AGI is at or above the amounts listed below based on the filing status on your 2021 tax return.
For information on the definition of modified AGI, see Topic C: Calculation of the 2021 Child Tax Credit.
No, it will not hold up your return if you only claim one child but have received the advance payments for the Child Tax Credit for two children.
No, it isn't true that the person that received the advance payments has to claim the child on their 2021 tax return.
Please make sure, you enter the amount received from letter 6419:
You will have to pay back the advanced payments unless you qualify for the full repayment protection:
"You qualify for full repayment protection and won’t need to repay any excess amount of your advance Child Tax Credit payments if your main home was in the United States for more than half of 2021 and your modified adjusted gross income (AGI) for 2021 is at or below the following amount based on the filing status on your 2021 tax return:
If you are eligible for forgiveness of advanced child tax credit payments, it should show up on Form 8812.
There also will not be an amount on Line 19 of Schedule 2.
To preview your Form 1040/ Schedule 2:
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