Should I file Married filing separately if I have never lived with my new husband?

[Newlifestarts120608]

Hello. I got married May 10th of 2025, I have never lived with my husband we are trying to save up to buy a house. We do not rent together or anything we both live with family members. I live with my mom and pay for most of the household. I have 4 older children from a previous relationship they are not old enough to file their own taxes yet but I am wondering if I should be filing separately from my husband because I have 4 dependents and we have not lived together? I am just trying to figure out what I get the most deductions from. I am a student, I receive survivor benefits from my children's dad he passed away 3 years ago and I work my own full time job. This is for next years return, I am just looked ahead to see if anyone has any advice. Thank you! 

[Bsch4477]

Filing jointly is almost always the best filing status. 

[VolvoGirl]

How did you file 2024?   Unless you qualify as Head of Household Joint is usually better.

Joint is almost always better.  Here's some things to consider about filing separately……

In the first place you each have to file a separate return, so that's two returns.  And if you are using the Online version that means using 2 accounts and paying the fees twice.  The Desktop CD/Download program would be better to use.

Many people think they come out better when filing Married Filing Separate but they are probably doing it wrong.  If one person itemizes deductions on Schedule A then the other one must itemize too, even if it's less than the standard deduction, even if it is ZERO!  And if you are in a Community Property state it can be complicated to figure out.

And there are several credits you can't take when filing separately, like the

EITC Earned Income Tax Credit

Child Care Credit

Educational Deductions and Credits

[Newlifestarts120608]

I filed head of household in 2024 because we were not married yet

[NCperson]

@Newlifestarts120608 since you marital status will be married on 12/31/25, your only option is to file Married - Filing Joint or Married - FIling Separate.

These filing statuses do not indicate whether the married couple is living under the same roof or not.  It's a matter if each wants to be liable for the others' tax obligations.

96% of married couples file joint.  So in most all cases, it will be more beneficial for the two of you to file joint as the tax liability will be lower.   Congress only passes tax laws that protect the sanctity of marriage.  In other words, they incent filing Joint.  

To me that last 4% are situations were there is a lack of trust and one doesn't trust the tax liabilties of the other; that would include those heading for divorce.  

If you post your income and your spouse's income plus the ages of your children, I will show you what I mean.

if those survivor benefits are in the name of your children and use your children's SSN on the tax reporting from Social Security, it is NOT reported on your tax return.  If the children have no other source of income, there is no tax and no reporting requirements for the survivorship benefits.  DId you report that income on prior year tax returns? if so, why? 

if you file Separate, you lose any tax credits you might otherwise be eligible for.  AOTC and LLC tax credits are not permitted when filing SEPARATE.  How much is the tuition? are there any scholarships that reduce the obligation to pay the tuition?   

[VolvoGirl]

@NCperson  She might still qualify as Head of Household if they lived apart the last 6 months of the year.  

Can a married person file Head of Household?

https://ttlc.intuit.com/community/married/help/can-a-married-person-claim-head-of-household-filing-s...

Here's a FAQ for Head of Household

https://ttlc.intuit.com/community/family/help/do-i-qualify-for-head-of-household/00/25539

[NCperson]

@VolvoGirl  I see your point; however, there is also the requirement that she provide for more than 50% of the household expenses.  She states she is living with family members to save money, so I find that possible but unlikely.  

When married, in order to file HOH, these requirements must be met:

1) file separate from spouse

2) pay more than half the household expenses.

3) live apart from the spouse for the last 6 months of the year.

4) she claims the children (or at least one of them in this case)

5) her home is the main home for the claimed children for more than half the year. 

[VolvoGirl]

I considered that first.  But she said she paid for most of it and in her second post she filed 2024 as Head of Household.   

[NCperson]

@VolvoGirl I see your point.  I would still like to see her income, spouse's income and ages of the 4 children.

I still bet Joint is a better option than HOH (OP) and MFS (spouse). 

[Newlifestarts120608]

Does it make a difference if none of the children are his biologically? My kids are 16, 14, 12 and 6. Survivor Benefits come to them so it is not marked as income I am just the "in care of" because they are under age. I make 45,000 yearly and husband makes 34,000. I live with my mom but pay most of the bills because she is disabled while also saving what money I can aside, he lives with his brother and doesn't pay a lot for his bills so his money is saved. 

Appreciate all the help!

[Bsch4477]

It doesn’t matter that the kids are not his biological children. Step children are treated for tax purposes the same as biological children. 

[Opus 17 · Accepted solution]

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@Newlifestarts120608 wrote:

Does it make a difference if none of the children are his biologically? My kids are 16, 14, 12 and 6. Survivor Benefits come to them so it is not marked as income I am just the "in care of" because they are under age. I make 45,000 yearly and husband makes 34,000. I live with my mom but pay most of the bills because she is disabled while also saving what money I can aside, he lives with his brother and doesn't pay a lot for his bills so his money is saved. 

Appreciate all the help!

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For head of household:

You must pay more than half the total costs of the "household" where you live.  It sounds like that household includes you, the children, and your mother, but not your spouse.  It doesn't matter who claims the children as tax dependents if they live in your household.  So you need to add up all the costs of the household, and see if you pay more than half.  Household costs include rent or mortgage, utilities, food eaten in the home, and so on.  Household expenses does not include personal expenses for the various people living in the home, like their clothing or travel or medical expenses.   See worksheet #1 in publication 501.

https://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p501.pdf

Add up the household costs, and determine how much you pay, how much your mother pays, and how much is paid from the survivor benefits.  (Even though it is not taxable income, it might be money used for household expenses, depending on how it is used.). If you pay more than half the total household expenses, you can file as HOH.

For claiming a dependent: 

He has the same standing to claim step-children as dependents as a biological parent.   If you file a joint tax return, there is no problem claiming the dependents on that joint return.

The bottom line:

The bottom line is that you have to test both scenarios.  Either 

(1) you file HOH and he files MFS (married filing separately), or

(2) you file a joint return (MFJ, married filing jointly).

Both seem to be allowed in this case, if you lived apart since your marriage and you pay more than half the costs of your current household.  There are a number of tax benefits for MFJ and HOH that are denied to MFS, but we don't know if he would use those benefits.  So the only way to know for sure which way gets the largest refund, is to try it both ways before filing.

My guess is that MFJ will be better, because of how the $2000 child tax credit works when you add his income.  But that's just a guess, you have to do the math yourself and see.