Claiming Dependents Without Social Security Numbers

[Chiefsfan115]

I resided with my girlfriend and our two minor, non-earning children all of 2020. I paid 99% of household expenses everyday of 2020. I earned $37,000 while she only earned $1150 the entire year. The mother of my children is refusing to hand over the SS# of the two kids out of fear she will lose stimulus payments or other future benefits. She has cut off all communication with me over this. I have been through the e-file process and I have gone over my eligibility with the IRS over the phone. Everyone I have spoken to agrees I am the one who can claim the 3 of them as dependents for 2020. What is the next step I should take to claim them as dependents on my 2020 taxes? Should I file a 3949-A? Should I send in a paper return with a letter explaining why I don’t have their Social Security numbers? 

[macuser_22]

You must have the SSN to claim.

This is a legal problem and not a tax problem, Consult a local attorney.

[DawnC · Accepted solution]

If you can't get the social security numbers, you will have to file by mail.   You won't be able to e-file without them.  No need to file the 3949 because if you both file a return claiming the same children, the IRS is going to get involved.   Maybe explain to her that she will be allowed to keep the stimulus payments that she has already received.  They are not going to make her pay that back.  Also, let her know there could be serious fines and penalties involved.    

Other places you can find their social security numbers:

School records

Medical insurance enrollments

Previous tax returns

Social Security Administration www.ssa.gov

[macuser_22]

Paper filing without the required SSN's will probably result in the IRS mailing the return back to you as "incomplete" and tell you to enter the missing SSN's and re-mail.

[Chiefsfan115]

Dawn, this is also what an IRS employee told me over the phone. Thanks for your help. 

[SweetieJean]

Assuming you are listed on the children's birth certificates, you should be able to get their SSN's from the Social Security Admin..

[Chiefsfan115]

SSA refused to give them, because in Kentucky an unmarried mother has full custody of her children. 

[TomD8]

To the IRS, the custodial parent is the parent with whom the child lived for the longer period of time during the year.  With regard to your federal tax return, that is the only "custody" definition that matters.

Dependents 3 | Internal Revenue Service (irs.gov)

If you are the custodial parent by IRS definition, you may need to talk to a lawyer to see if the mother can be compelled to divulge the children's SSN's.