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married couples always have the choice of filing jointly or separately. However, separate filing can significantly increase your tax bill or reduce your refund because some deductions phase out earlier and some deductions and credits are disallowed entirely. (It can be especially bad if you have child dependents.) The biggest mistake people make is that when you file separately, both must itemize deductions or both must take the standard deduction, even if there aren't enough itemized deductions to go around. You can't load all the itemized deductions on one spouse and have the other spouse take the standard.
Either way, the marriage considered as a unit will pay about $4000 tax on the 401K withdrawal, filing separately might result in even more tax owed due to the loss of deductions. You will have to figure it both ways and then decide.
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