1) Pay Rent
2) Pay Utilities
3) Pay any Credit Card Bills
4) Pay any Healthcare Bills
5) Save towards Emergency Fund - Figure out what 6 months of your living costs are and put it aside in a different bank account that you never touch
6) Max out your Retirement Accounts
Here’s what works for me:
Do not associate pieces of income with particular expenses. Just add up all income for all sources and make a plan for what you’re going to do with all that money. Every month has irregular income from rebates, OT, tax refund etc, and every month has irregular expenses. It’s easier to add up all the incomes into one number and then decide what to do with that entire amount.
Write down the simple plan of how to spend your money because if it has more than a few items it’s hard for your brain to store it. Your brain should be used a) to think up creative ways to get the things you want with limited money and time and b) ways to make more money. Your brain is much less effective than paper at keeping track of lists.
"mine [refund] never sent"
Do you mean when you fill out your return, it shows you didn't overpay so you don't get a refund?
Or does your return show a refund, and they don't send it? If that's the case, you should complain. You may be able to get them to send past years' refunds.
If you're not entitled to one because you didn't overpay, that's a good thing. You don't want to overpay and then have to ask for the excess back.
I have a precious 4 year old daughter and we have faught to hell and back to survive a spouse sabotaging jobs, stalking us. forcing us to have to move, withholding child support, hacking into my electronic devices, causing destruction where I stay with little resources. I want to take my tax refund and move away and start again as an artist and paralegal and give her a peaceful life. That's all I want is to not live in fear.
That sucks. Your problem is only tangentially related to your refund.
If the refund is big enough to make a difference in your life, they’re withholding too much. You can update your W-4 and get a bigger paycheck and less refund. Then you use that money to follow your dreams and get away from the jerk.
As for the jerk, I would try to let the authorities deal with him. They’re not perfect, but engaging with him emotionally just encourages him. If you don’t react, people will eventually see him for what he is, and he won’t be able to affect your jobs. Find a geek to get him out of your devices, or use a flip-phone temporarily. It’s easier said than done. But in a year you’ll see he’s just another low-life.