That sucks. Your problem is only tangentially related to your refund.
If the refund is big enough to make a difference in your life, they’re withholding too much. You can update your W-4 and get a bigger paycheck and less refund. Then you use that money to follow your dreams and get away from the jerk.
As for the jerk, I would try to let the authorities deal with him. They’re not perfect, but engaging with him emotionally just encourages him. If you don’t react, people will eventually see him for what he is, and he won’t be able to affect your jobs. Find a geek to get him out of your devices, or use a flip-phone temporarily. It’s easier said than done. But in a year you’ll see he’s just another low-life.
