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When all of you live together as a family, only one parent can claim the child. You cannot put the child's SSN on both of your tax returns. That means only one of you can use the childcare credit. The one who is claiming the child can use the childcare credit.
You may be confusing some rules. Parents who are divorced or never married and who LIVE APART can say there is an agreement that allows the custodial parent to get the childcare credit, earned income credit and fils as Head of Household; the other non-custodial parent gets the child tax credit.
You say that all of you live together; so you do not have the option to use the "signed agreement" and share the child-related credits.
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