I was widowed on May 7, 2016, but Turbo Tax is telling me to file jointly because I have not been widowed in the past 3 years -- that doesnt make sense

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When your spouse passes away, you are permitted to file as married filing jointly in the year of death. Then, if you have a qualifying dependent, you can file as qualifying widower for the next two years. Please view the Turbo Tax FAQ below for more information.

https://ttlc.intuit.com/replies/4206146

Please view the IRS link below for more information about the qualifying widower filing status.

https://www.irs.gov/publications/p17/ch02.html#en_US_2014_publink1000170830