There's no way for us to compare the situation between the two of you in this type of forum.
Your total income from all sources could be greater. Rank and time-of-service differences. Higher income means more taxes....unless you have actual Combat pay.
Print out your tax forms and compare the 1040 lines on yours to hers (if she is willing to share a look)
(NC is your HOR isn't it?)
____________*Answers are correct to the best of my knowledge when posted, but should not be considered to be legal or official tax advice.*