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Your wife and you should have the same home of record regardless of where either of you are. stationed. You should both file as a MD resident and your wife file as a CA non-resident. to file correctly, file the California non-resident return first and then your MAryland resident return.
As far as moving expenses, I am not sure what your specific issues you are having but please read this IRS FAQ sheet regarding moving expenses, especially the section where it addresses Services or reimbursements provided by government.
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