Adjusting NY W2 for NJ - Transportation FSA? - 403b employer match?

[joey7662]

I live and work in NY, my spouse works in NJ.  So we file a NJ nonresident in addition to NY.

Problem is my W2 does not have gross wages for NJ listed.  So when filling out my NJ return I have to manually add back items to my Gross that were pretax for Federal. Is there a definitive list somewhere? I understand I have to add back Medical Premiums, Medical HSA, Daycare HSA.

How about Transportation FSA?

And I have a 403b plan, so I understand NJ would require me to add that back, but what about my employer match for 403b?  Would NJ require that to be added back as well?  It is not even reported anywhere for taxes.

I understand my spouse could potentially file MFS in NJ only but that seems to be a very complicated process with Turbotax, so I am trying to avoid that If i can.