I agree with Don but you indicated that this is money that you pay from your retirement pay.  If you receive a Form 1099-R for the entire amount and write checks to your ex-spouse, the payments you make may be deductible as alimony. An IRS summary of alimony requirements is in Tax Topic 452, which reads as follows:

"Amounts paid under divorce or separate maintenance decrees or written separation agreements entered into between you and your spouse or former spouse will be considered alimony for Federal tax purposes if:

1. You and your spouse or former spouse do not file a joint return with each other,
2. You pay in cash (including checks or money orders),
3. The decree of divorce or separate maintenance does not say that the payment is not alimony,
4. If legally separated under a decree of divorce or separate maintenance, you and your former spouse are not members of the same household when you make the payment,
5. You have no liability to make the payment (in cash or property) after the death of your spouse or former spouse; and
6. Your payment is not treated as child support.

You may deduct from income the amount of alimony or separate maintenance you paid, and you must include in income the amount of alimony or separate maintenance you received.

Noncash property settlements, whether in a lump sum or installments, do not qualify as alimony. Voluntary payments (i.e., payments not required by a divorce decree or separation instrument) do not qualify as alimony.

My ex and I are separated with a legal document,  I pay her child support, alimony, and the portion of my retirement she will receive once we are divorced. How do I separate the alimony from the retirement portion on my taxes?

When was the legal document of separation executed?  Did that happen this year (2019), or prior to this year?

I pay my former spouse monthly from my military retirement. The divorce order states we are each responsible for our own taxes. Can I send him a 1099-R for the taxes I paid on his share ? Or can I deduct the amount of taxes I paid from his share ?

Depends.  If your retirement was split up like from a QDRO then he should be getting his own 1099R from the military.  If you just pay him then you enter the full 1099R and you pay the tax on it.  You might be able to claim what you give him as Alimony.

My friend gets part of her ex husband's military retirement.  It was split up and she gets her own check directly from DFAS and gets her own 1099R.  You need to ask your lawyer and the military how to set that up.

Ok so I have to give my husband half of my military retirement.  They split it from the gross income.  SOOOO that means I pay taxes on all of it and get less than half my retirement because i am paying all the taxes.  Is this correct?  Would it make a difference if I did an allotment? 

Have the military issue the ex their portion directly then you will each get a 1099-R for your portions only to report on your return. 

how would I  use this deduction using turbotax for 2022

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@mitchell2003 wrote:

how would I  use this deduction using turbotax for 2022

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There is no deduction unless the payment is specifically listed as alimony in a pre-2019 divorce order.

Normally, when you have an order that you must split your retirement benefit with an ex-spouse, you get a QDRO from the court (qualified domestic relations order) and give it to the pension payer. They split the pension payment according to the order.  Each ex-spouse gets a 1099-R for their part of the pension and pays tax on their part of the pension.

https://www.irs.gov/retirement-plans/plan-participant-employee/retirement-topics-qdro-qualified-dome...

However, DFAS follows its own rules and will not honor a QDRO if the marriage lasted less than 10 years (I think), and will only pay the retired service person.  So if you are in a situation where you get the entire pension payment, you pay tax on the entire thing.  There is no deduction for any amount you send your ex, unless it is specifically labeled as "alimony" in your divorce decree, and your divorce decree was signed before January 1, 2019.   If you are not asking about a military pension, but something civilian (including 401k and similar plans), then you must get a QDRO from the court.  Any payments you split before the QDRO is issued are only taxable to you and there is no deduction unless it is alimony from before 2019.