Why all of a sudden on my year end paystub was there a large deduction from my gross wages for a cafe 125 that I was and am unaware of?

You will need to ask your employer why this deduction was made on your paystub.

My employer told me they don’t mess with w-2 it’s my responsibility? I wanna know where this money is if it was set aside for me? I didn’t authorize this deduction 

What you refer to is a cafeteria plan. In such a plan, you contribute money from your pay for various benefit plans that your employer offers. The tax advantage to you is that the money you set aside is not taxed for income or social security/Medicare purposes. Your employer should be able to tell you where the money went, as having money taken from your pay is not a W-2 matter, it is just reported there for tax purposes. 

You can learn more about Cafe 125 plans in this TurboTax article.