qualifying widow is not listed on turbo tax as a marital status. What do I use to get the right exemption?

Do you have a qualified dependent child?   For the two years after a spouse passed away you can file as a qualified surviving spouse IF you have a dependent child you are claiming.  If you are filing as a QSS you will get the same standard deduction as MFJ.

In the My Info section of the TurboTax online edition, when you are entering your personal information, on the screen About your household select Widowed then the year of your spouse's passing and then answer the question about having any dependents.