I was divorced in 2019 and part of the agreement was that I would pay my ex-wife $20K out my IRA account. I received a 1099-R from my bank showing a taxable amount to me of said $20K. Is this something I have to pay taxes on, even though it was a direct transfer to her? Any help is appreciated. Thanks
Yes this is taxable to you even though you did not directly receive the money. There is no tax relief because this was an obligation that is part of a divorce settlement. As of 2018, IRS does not allow you to deduct alimony payments to ex-spouses.
Part of your agreement should have specified who was to pay the tax on the distribution that went to her. If she was to pay the tax then what you sent to her should be minus the tax. If no agreement on the tax then you are stuck with it, unless you can get her to pay it or chip in. Ask your divorce attorney.