Intuit is so confusing, turbo tax think I am my ex wife. And when I click help to get this changed it calls me by my name

You need to create a new account if you are no longer married.

Go to this TurboTax website and click on Sign up in the upper right of the page to create a new account and new User ID - https://turbotax.intuit.com/personal-taxes/online/file-your-own-taxes/

it’s my email address that’s used for the account though 

You can use the same email address for up to five online accounts.