We are filing jointly as usual but this program is not asking for my RMD no matter how I try. It keeps asking about disaster relief???? what's that all about?

If the program determines that you got the RMD, it won't ask. I bet you marked that it was from a qualified plan and you probably get periodic payments so the program knew the answer.

The disaster relief allows the income to be spread over 3 years instead of being taxed all at once.