Can i take the first time homebuyer ira exclusion if it is my first home purchase but my wife owned one when I moved in with her and the deed was never updated?

Yes, if you otherwise qualify.  A first time homebuyer is someone who hasn’t owned a home or had an ownership interest in a principal residence in the past two years. (The two-year period ends on the date of acquisition of the home you are looking to purchase.  

You do not qualify as a first-time homebuyer if your wife does not qualify as a first-time homebuyer.  For either spouse to qualify as a first-time homebuyer, both spouses must qualify as first-time homebuyers.