If my partner and i made the mistake of doubling our childs social,and my taxes were rejected, can i file after she's amended or do i have to wait until she paperfiles?

You will have to wait to Efile your tax return until after her return is finalized by the IRS.

Or, you can mail your return.  Even if you mail, you can elect for direct deposit.

Even if she amends her return you will have to mail your return this year.  So you don’t have to wait.  Once a ssn has been filed you can’t efile it again.