I submitted electronically my fed and st return. Then I had to amended to add a 1099-MISC. Do I only submit the amended by mail or do I need to mail the whole return

Amended returns cannot be e-filed. Your must print, sign, and mail Form 1040X, along with a corrected copy of any affected form or schedule.

Your Form 1040X and attachments should be mailed to the appropriate IRS office, based on where you live:

Where To File Form 1040X

So do I mail the WHOLE return along with the amended?

"any affected form or schedule" If your added 1099-MISC changes Schedule C, which changes Schedule SE, which changes Form 1040, attach copies of those 3 documents. If it did not change, for example, Schedule D, do not send a copy of that.