I made a copy of my 1099 R but lost my original can I send in the copy with my tax return?

Are you mailing and not e-filing?    If mailing then a copy is fine.

and if e-filing you don't mail it in at all.

You can always substitute a copy of one of your forms if you lost the original.  If you are filing by paper , though, you only submit copies of forms that show tax withheld.  If no tax was withheld, you don't send the form with your return.  If you e-filed, you don't send any forms at all.