We are here to answer income tax questions. You and your spouse must agree if you choose to file a joint income tax return. If you file a joint income tax return the refund comes with both of your names on it. Or if you owe tax due, the debt to the IRS (or state) is in both of your names.
As for what your spouse can do with your bank accounts, etc., that is a legal question that we cannot answer here. If you are having those kinds of problems with your spouse, seek legal advice.