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Self employed
The IRS is not basing the monthly child tax credit payments on 2018 returns. So the "grapevine" is incorrect unless exBF actually filed a 2019 or 2020 return and claimed your children.
If you have not yet done so-----you have to file a 2020 return that claims your children. You can use the recovery rebate credit on your 2020 return to get the 1st and/or 2nd stimulus payment if you did not receive them. The third stimulus is issued separately by the IRS. Did you receive any of those payments? Did you file a 2020 return that claimed your children? Was your 2020 return accepted? Has it been processed?
Here is is some information on how the monthly child tax credit payments work---read the links and the FAQ's thoroughly so you will see what you might need to do to get the payments. If you filed a 2020 return claiming your children it should be automatic for you, but there is a portal on the IRS site you can use if needed.
Stop worrying about what your exBF "might" do and file your own returns honestly and correctly; the IRS will sort it out and if exBF files fraudulently the IRS will sort it out and deal with him.
https://www.irs.gov/credits-deductions/advance-child-tax-credit-payments-in-2021
https://www.irs.gov/credits-deductions/child-tax-credit-update-portal