She does not have to provide her SSN but she can easily get a Tax Identification Number from the IRS:
https://www.irs.gov/individuals/international-taxpayers/taxpayer-identification-numbers-tin
In order for you to get the childcare credit or use your savings plan money per the rules, you need her SSN or Tax ID. And---going forward---always get that information upfront from your childcare providers to avoid misunderstandings and confusion.
The babysitter is supposed to report her income to the IRS as self-employment income. When you report the amount you paid for childcare on your tax return, the IRS matches that up with what she reports on her tax return--using her SSN or Tax ID. You say she is only 19-- so likely not very savvy regarding tax laws and maybe getting some poor advice from others. You don't want to get her in trouble but you want to use your FSA funds and possibly enter the childcare credit on your tax return. She will need to learn how it works.
When a childcare provider will not give you a SSN or Tax ID
If they still refuse to provide an EIN or SSN, send your provider a W-10 (Request for Taxpayer Information and Identification Number). You can get a copy of the W-10 by clicking here: W-10 Form & Instructions Complete as much of the form as you can and send it via certified mail (after making copies for yourself).
If the provider does not respond within 10 business days, you can still file your return. However, you won't be able to e-file. Print and mail in your return, along with an explanation and a copy of the W-10 you sent your provider.
**Disclaimer: Every effort has been made to offer the most correct information possible. The poster disclaims any legal responsibility for the accuracy of the information that is contained in this post.**
