When you file a joint tax return, you are agreeing to combine all of your income, your dependents (if any) your deductions and credits, etc. etc. on one tax return. Your tax due or refund is not broken down "per spouse"--if there is a refund it comes with both names on it. When you said "I do" you agreed to share. The two of you have to decide what seems "fair" to each of you.
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