The W-4 you fill out for your employer is only for your employer so the employer will withhold the amount of tax you want withheld. The IRS does not get your W-4. You can change it or leave it as is. You might want to look at/use the IRS W-4 calculator to decide if you want to change anything. There are no "penalties" for the way you complete your W-4. You just want to have enough withheld so that you do not owe tax at tax return time.
https://www.irs.gov/individuals/irs-withholding-calculator
When you file your tax return, you will want to use the last name that matches your Social Security card.
As for filing married fling separately or married filing jointly, filing joint is almost always better, especially if you have children. You lose a number of child-related credits if you file separate returns.
Married Filing Jointly is usually better, even if one spouse had little or no income. When you file a joint return, you and your spouse will get the married filing jointly standard deduction of $24,000 (+$1300 for each spouse 65 or older) You are eligible for more credits including education credits, earned income credit, child and dependent care credit, and a larger income limit to receive the child tax credit.
If you choose to file married filing separately, both spouses have to file the same way—either you both itemize or you both use standard deduction. Your tax rate will be higher than on a joint return. Some of the special rules for filing separately include: you cannot get earned income credit, education credits, adoption credits, or deductions for student loan interest. A higher percent of your Social Security benefits may be taxable. Your limit for SALT (state and local taxes and sales tax) will be only $5000 per spouse. In many cases you will not be able to take the child and dependent care credit. The amount you can contribute to a retirement account will be affected. If you live in a community property state, you will be required to provide additional information regarding your spouse’s income. ( Community property states: AZ, CA, ID, LA, NV, NM, TX, WA, WI) If you are using online TurboTax to prepare your returns, you will need to prepare two separate returns and pay twice.
https://ttlc.intuit.com/questions/1894449-married-filing-jointly-vs-married-filing-separately
https://ttlc.intuit.com/questions/1901162-married-filing-separately-in-community-property-states
https://ttlc.intuit.com/questions/1894449-is-it-better-for-a-married-couple-to-file-jointly-or-separ...
**Disclaimer: Every effort has been made to offer the most correct information possible. The poster disclaims any legal responsibility for the accuracy of the information that is contained in this post.**
