We cannot help you with your spouse's "attitude." If she prepared and filed your joint return, then the banking information was transmitted to the IRS, but appears as "x's" on the printed form for your security. The IRS got the banking information when the return was e-filed.
You may have no reason to amend----first you need clarity as to whether she filed a joint return or filed married filing separately for each of you. Check your online account with the IRS to see what the IRS shows for you.
Try checking your online account with the IRS (and if you filed a joint return—check for BOTH of you)
https://www.irs.gov/payments/your-online-account
**Disclaimer: Every effort has been made to offer the most correct information possible. The poster disclaims any legal responsibility for the accuracy of the information that is contained in this post.**
