Retirement tax questions

Unfortunately the disabled exception applies only to the person that has money in the Plan.  

So there is no exception for a disable child for your 401K distribution. 

For more detail see below: 

Exceptions to 401K are:

http://www.401khelpcenter.com/401k_education/hardship_withdrawal_article.html#.WJtLoVUrKM8

"But to discourage these early hardship withdrawals, in most all cases the IRS imposes a hefty financial penalty including a 10 percent early withdrawal penalty if you are younger than 59 1/2. You may qualify to take a penalty-free withdrawal if you meet one of the following exceptions: You become totally disabled."