You should not change the amount in box 1. Do you have a QDRO?
If you spouse gets an apportionment, decreed by court order and receives a Form 1099-R, then she will report that portion as her income.
If you get the apportionment amount due your spouse, then give it to her then you are responsible for all the tax and it is up to you to collect your spouses share of the tax (that the court order should specify), or reduce the amount that your spouse receives minus their share of the tax. In this case you are reporting all of it and getting the taxes from your spouse on her share. This should all be in your agreement. If it is not you should talk to your attorney or OPM.
A QDRO or qualifying order is a judgment, decree, or order relating to payment of child support, alimony, or marital property rights. The payments must be made to a spouse, former spouse, child, or other dependent of a participant in the plan.
The order must contain certain information, including the amount or percentage of the participant's benefits to be paid to each payee. It can't require the plan to pay benefits in a form not offered by the plan, nor can it require the plan to pay increased benefits.
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