Unfortunately, you cannot avoid the 10% early withdrawal penalty if you are not aged over 59 1/2 and the distributions from the retirement plan were for living expenses.
The IRS says:
A spouse or former spouse who receives QDRO benefits from a retirement
plan reports the payments received as if he or she were a plan
participant.
Please read this IRS document:
https://www.irs.gov/retirement-plans/plan-participant-employee/retirement-topics-qdro-qualified-dome...
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