By federal law, daycare providers are required to provide their clients with either their SSN or EIN (Employer Identification Number) no later than Feb 2, 2014 for this year. Failure to do so can and will most likely, result in a audit of that provider with some fairly hefty fines.
While I can understand the reluctance to provide one's personal SSN, the daycare provider does have an extremely easy alternative. They can obtain an EIN on line, in about 10 minutes at http://www.irs.gov/Businesses/Small-Businesses-&-Self-Employed/Apply-for-an-Employer-Identification-... So you might try the friendly, informative approach as you provide this information to your provider.
If they still refuse, then you will need to send your provider a W-10 (Request for Taxpayer Information and Identification Number). Get the form at https://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/fw10.pdf, fill out what you can and send it via certified mail after making 2 copies for yourself. If the provider does not provide the info within 10 business days, then you can still file your tax return without that information. However, you won't be able to e-file it. You'll have to mail it in. When you mail it, include a copy of the W-9 you sent to the provider, along with a copy of the proof that you sent it to them via certified mail.
You'll still qualify to claim the expense and will get your refund. But it may take a bit longer is all.
