First, let's clear up something. Any contribution made through your wife's employer - whether by the employer or by your wife through payroll deduction - is called "employer contribution" by the IRS, and by extension, also by us. The terminology seems confusing, but it is this way because all "employer contributions " (see above) are treated the same way. They all appear with the code of W in box 12 on her W-2, and if there are excess contributions from this, they are added back to your income.
So please understand that TurboTax is handling her contributions correctly.
On the other hand, any contribution made directly to the HSA (not through the employer) is a "personal contribution". This should NOT include any payroll deductions because they have already been accounted for in the code W amount(s).
You should review the first Example on page 7 of Pub 969. This shows how the Family HSA contribution is to be handled - note that the Self-only for your HSA is ignored. Please note that many of the examples are still using the 2022 numbers.
The next thing to note is that the Family limit for your wife's HSA is $8,583 - this is $7,750 plus the prorated $1,000 "bonus" for being 55. She became 55 in February (I am assuming she did so after the 1st), so that is 10 months (March through December) at $83.33.
I can't make sense of "but TT is telling me I contributed $4250 more than I was allowed, and that I need to allocate $1400 excess contribution between us."
Given your confusion with employer contribution, is it possible that you entered your wife's contribution with code W on her W-2 (which is correct), and then repeated the $5,200 as a "personal" contribution because you thought the payroll deduction should have been personal? If so, please go back into the HSA interview and removed the $5,200 as a personal contribution and ass what happens.
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