@Opus 17I'm following up on this, in case it can help somebody in the future. We sent a couple support questions to my wife's HRA provider to confirm whether the account definitively made me HSA-ineligible, just to be sure, and will hopefully know soon.
I also contacted my HSA provider about this matter. They were very helpful (Lively) and confirmed they can process an "excess contribution reversal" and provide an amended 5498-SA for my 2022 excess contributions. For 2023, they can perform the same reversal and clear the reporting altogether as if they never happened. (Of course, I'll still have to pay income tax.) For 2021, they said they can process an "excess contribution withdrawal" which will appear on my 2023 1099-SA.
They also said I should contact my employer to see how they would like to process the ineligible HSA contributions (since they were made as pre-tax payroll contributions). It sounds like, at least for 2022 and 2023, it all depends on whether they want to recoup their $25/paycheck or just wash their hands of this and let me keep it as taxable income (which sounds like what most employers do). Whether or not they will be reporting the transactions will affect both their and my tax reporting.
Also, I contacted two separate tax preparers (I had always done my own taxes) and was honestly a little put off by both of them. I was surprised that they both sounded cavalier about whether or not the issue is worth addressing at all. (I will address it.) They were also booked for weeks before they could begin to prepare my forms. But the main thing was that I felt more knowledgeable about the problem and how to solve it (now after reading your replies, reviewing the IRS forms and instructions, and communicating with my HSA provider), that I plan to prepare and submit the amended tax forms myself. One tax preparer quoted me a minimum of $800, with no cap, as they would charge $400 each year to enter everything into their system, plus extra for an additional state return, extra time, the possible paper submittal, etc. It sounded like over $1000, which almost certainly exceeds what I will pay for the tax itself. I will continue providing updates in case it helps anyone in the future.
