Thanks to all for your thoughtful replies. It is a very sad statement about the family court system that it would tolerate this egregious bullying of a mother putting her in a position costing thousands more if she fights it or thousands if she gives in. There is a chance the judge would see this for the legalized extortion attempt that it truly is, but it may never get to that level because she is emotionally drained by the "legal" harassment by her ex and his lawyer over the last six weeks. The negotiated approach seems worth considering, but the ex's nature is to be more interested in winning than compromising, especially if it hurts her, and even if it hurts the children.
