@macuser_22
While I don't remember the advice on how to handle this situation, I don't believe it is correct that the taxpayer must eat the taxes on the entire distribution.
Distribution of assets subject to a divorce is not taxable to the parties. In the case of a pension or retirement account like an IRA, each party is responsible for tax on their own portion of the income, via a QDRO. The problem here is that the payer (DFAS) won't honor a QDRO if the parties were married less than 10 years (which I recall to be correct after @DG47 reminded me) which puts the taxpayer in the position where the tax law says one thing but the payer won't issue the correct paperwork.
But I don't remember the correct solution.
