You can only claim the child care expenses that you actually paid during the year, and for the Child Care credit, only the custodial parent can claim. (If you allow the noncustodial parent to claim the child as a dependent, you as the custodial parent can still claim the Dependent Care Credit).
If you can make an amicable arrangement so that you are able to make the child care payments for the Child Tax Credit purposes, the IRS cannot tell you what to do with the extra money (but it cannot be a reimbursement for the child care payments.)
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