Thank you for your responses. Since it was a legal separation and not a divorce, the plan administrator would not follow the QDRO. They responded with
"Under Federal law, the administrator of the retirement plan that provides the benefits affected by an order is the individual (or entity) initially responsible for determining whether a domestic relations order is a QDRO. Plan administrators have specific responsibilities and duties with respect to determining whether a domestic relations order is a QDRO." Apparently legal separation is not recognized in many states.
I really want to do the right thing and if I do owe it, I'll have to figure out a way to pay it. I was in a bad situation at that time and was willing to do whatever it took to resolve the issue.
