If your income is less than $200,000, the child tax credit will be an offset of the taxes you pay or an increase in the refund you receive. The total amount of child tax credit is $3,000 for school aged kids (between 6-17) PER CHILD. The advance child tax credit is just an advance on the credit you would eventually receive on your tax return, so you can "opt out" of those payments if you do not want to receive them.
Your ex - if they are receiving the advance child tax credit with no children on his 2021 return - will have to pay the advance child tax credit money back, if he makes over the income threshold for repayment ($40,000 single, $60,000 married).
You can update your information on the Child Tax Credit Update Portal here: https://www.irs.gov/credits-deductions/child-tax-credit-update-portal to start receiving payments "early" - if you would like.
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