"can we pay a total of 10K in dependent care expenses incurred in 2020 with this option."
That's how I read it - after all , this is no different than the current grace period functionality, if you had 5K left over from 2019.
"Looks like this is wholly at the discretion of employer and as far as I understand IRS is saying "we donot have a problem if an employer extends the deadline this one time".... right?"
Yes, the language of the Notice leaves the decision up to the employer.
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