You can deduct medical expenses you pay for someone you claim as a dependent. Only one taxpayer can claim mom as a dependent. If you paid more than 50% of her expenses, that would be you and your wife (assuming you file a joint return). (If the brother also claimed mom as a dependent, that will cause an IRS intervention. So best to be united as a family on this first.)
The question then becomes, which expenses are deductible. Normally, only medical care is deductible, and not lodging, or meals, or assistance with housecleaning or laundry. If you are in a nursing home primarily to receive medical care, then lodging, meals etc. are also deductible medical expenses. But most memory care places provide little or no actual medical care because they don't have full nursing home licenses.
However, there was recently a change in the law to put Alzhiemers on parity with other chronic illnesses. The rules now say:
- Assisted Living residents seeking tax deductions for their services must qualify as “chronically ill”. This definition refers to seniors who are unable to perform two or more “Activities of Daily Living” (eating, transferring, bathing, dressing and continence) without assistance, or who need constant supervision because of a “severe cognitive impairment” such as Alzheimer’s disease or related dementias. The Assisted Living resident must have been certified within the previous 12 months as “chronically ill” by a licensed health care practitioner.
- In order to qualify for a deduction, personal care services must be provided pursuant to a plan of care prescribed by a licensed health care practitioner. Many Assisted Living communities have on staff a licensed nurse or social worker who prepares a plan of care, sometimes called a “Wellness Care Plan,” in coordination with the resident’s physician which outlines the specific daily services the resident will receive in the community.
So you may want to review with the living facility, which expenses they would consider applicable to these rules, and whether mom has a qualified "care plan" or "wellness plan".
This is what the IRS says. https://www.irs.gov/faqs/itemized-deductions-standard-deduction/medical-nursing-home-special-care-ex...
This is a really good article I think.
https://www.riverglenhouse.com/is-alzheimers-memory-care-a-tax-deductible-expense/
This I think is also pretty good.
https://www.seniorlivingresidences.com/family-guide/financial-options/tax-deductibility/
