@M3gatr0n8
Q. Will I be able to consider her as a family member (grandmother of my child) since shes my girlfriends mother, or will she be considered an independent contractor?
A. She is not a family member because she is not related to the taxpayer (you), even though she is related to the child. Someone will have to pay her social security or Medicare (FICA) taxes. If you and she agree to do so, she can be considered an independent contractor and pay her own FICA, in the form of self employment tax.
Q. I am also wondering if I can put money into a flexible spending account (FSA) with my employer to pay her with pretax?
A. Yes. whether your childcare provider is a family member, or not, is not relevant. She has to still file income taxes regardless of if you qualify for the nanny tax exemption or not (you don't) or whether you pay with FSA funds or not.
