This is at best, a personal issue. When it comes to filing a joint return, both persons have to agree to do so. All monies reported and any refunds received are considered "our" money. Legally there is none of this "his money - my money" stuff with a joint return.
since the refund has both parties named on the check, or on the electronic transfer if that method was selected, many banking institutions will not accept the refund and will reject it back to the IRS, if both parties named on ACH transfer are not also both named on the account the refund is destined for. But that policy can differ between banking institutions. If the money in question was an ACH transfer to the account from the IRS, then you'll have to check the banks policy on this and see if they violated it. Presently, that's the only way I can see that you *might* have something to work with. Otherwise, the only other way I see to resolve it, is through legal representation.
