the rules for J1 student visas are the same as for F1 student visas. Since you were in the US already for 5 years on the F1 visa, you would count the days of presence in 2016 and 2017 towards the substantial presence test. For 2016 you did not meet the test so were a nonresident alien. For 2017 you do meet the test and are a resident alien.
What is your wifes visa status? when did she come to the US (you wrote 2019) and on what visa? What was her visa in 2014?
