1) No the order of the names do not matter however, I would keep them the same year to year. The IRS gets confused if you change the order of the names.
2) Yes, you need to make the an election on a piece of paper to treat your nonresident spouse as a resident and file by mail. You cannot e-file. For your situation the election is a 6013h election. 6013g election is usually for when the spouse is outside the country at the end of the year.
Please see pages 8 or 9
Publication 519 for what needs to be included in your statement. No form or special format is needed. Just be sure to sign the election.
3) Yes, you can file the FBAR separately. To file jointly, your foreign accounts would have to be held jointly.
You may have an additional filing requirement. Please see the attached for information regarding the Form 8938.
