A question on my filing status as a J1 visa holder

Hi, I am confused regarding my filing status.

I am a J1 visa holder (physician). I entered the US on a J-1 research scholar visa on 4/5/2020 and switched to J1 physician status to start my medical residency on 7/8/2020. I have been in the US since then and did not leave. 

When I count my days for the Substantial presence test. I do pass it, however, I have read that I shouldn't count the days while on a J1 visa because I am considered an exempt individual!. However, I have many friends on a J1 visa and they file their taxes as resident Aliens!!

What is my filing status now?

I also entered the US many times in 2017, 2018, and 2019 on a B1/B2 visa for exams, medical observerships, and interviews. Do these days count?

I got married to a Non-US Citizen and she entered the US in October 2021 on a J-2 dependent visa. Can we file together?

 

I really appreciate your input. Thank you!