After you file

"one for myself in 2020 and one from my wife in 2021 for the same disaster, but the total of the two did not exceed $100,000."

 

If the total of the two did not exceed $100,000, then neither of the distributions exceeded $100,000

 

But you said: "Here's the numbers - 5A is 190023, "

Your 2021 Line 5a should be less than $100,000, not $190,023 which is greater than $100,000.

 

@dabfvnc1