@Classy01 - Your situation appears to be clear cut and the "right thing" is equally clear. The family court has ordered you to give the other parent form 8332, so you should do.
The statement " If federal law trumps state law" is misleading. It doesn't mean the family court order is negated. It only means the IRS is not obligated to enforce it.
Even after giving the non-custodial parent the "exemption" (and child tax credit), you still get the claim the EIC, HoH, and DCC. Just be sure you let him know, you're claiming those (legally, not violating the court order) so that he doesn't try to also.
