@Kathy_and_Dan Your situation is fun but not completely unique. So here is what you do. You're going to file jointly for your federal return. Pick an address to be your primary address with the feds and use it on the return.
Then you'll need to create a second return for the two of you - we call it a mock return - for married-filing-separately. Because of California you will have to split the itemized deductions as well. You will then file separately for each state and then each of you only have to pay resident taxes in the state that you're in.
You can only take the energy credit in Hawaii.
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