If you are married by IRS standards, you can only choose "married filing jointly" or "married filing separately" so option 1 is not available for you to use. Your only options to file are jointly or separately you can not file as single.
If you know that you will not owe any tax and will get a refund if you file as married filing jointly then you do not have to make a payment with your request for an extension. When you file your extension just leave the box for your spouse's social security blank
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